How to Play Slots According to John Patrick

I read John Patrick’s Slots and decided his would be the first systems I play-tested. Included in the book are 25 slots systems–some more elaborate than others – which sell the dream of winning slots. Like many of these slots books, money management is the key term to remember. Money management really seems to mean that you need to limit your losses as much as anything.

Two principles of John Patrick’s money management techniques are the Naked Pull and Loss Limits. Naked pulls are simply losing pulls on the slot machine. Loss limits are an arbitrary percentage where you walk away from the slot machine. The default percentage with John Patrick is 60%. If 60% of your bankroll for a machine is gone, by rule you must walk away. Pretty standard stuff, I suppose.

So why start with John Patrick’s Slots? I guess I chose this book because I was impressed by exactly how cheesy the copy was, and by “impressed” I mean only that it left a lasting impression.

First of all, the book is about slots. But Patrick is holding poker chips on the cover. A minor detail, I admit, but the really offensive stuff is inside the cover. Patrick likes to poke fun at his detractors with funny name stereotypes. It’s hopelessly bad prose. Check this stuff out.

Patrick’s imaginary friend who doesn’t believe in his slots systems is named Don B. Leeve. Another friend who doesn’t keep a clear head at the slot machine is named Claire Head. Patrick pretty much beats you over the head with these puns the entire length of the book. At first it annoyed me, then I hated him for it, then I chuckled at how stupid the jokes were, and then I ended up annoyed again. So I intend on playing all 25 systems, to put slots money management principles to the test.

So prove this skeptic wrong, John Patrick. It’s time for you to make me a rich man.

John Patrick’s Slots System

During this lull in my playing of slots at the casinos online, I decided to check in with the Old Master recently. I mean, I’m pretty sure John Patrick’s Slots was written back in the seventies. So I figured he had accrued many years of gambling knowledge since his book was published. There had to be whole new horizons of slots knowledge.

Interestingly, there seems to be no more horizons. John Patrick was telling his players about money management and loss controls. I would say that was the theme of his book on slots, so that hasn’t changed over the years.

I imagine he’s seen no reason to evolve his strategies over the years. As evidence, let me cite that he mentioned how he once wrote a great book on slots. (Yes, a Great book. That’s good stuff, there.)

It was noteworthy that John Patrick neither condemns nor condones playing slot machines. I would have assumed he would condone the practice, having made a living all these years telling people how to win at slots.

All the same, I’m glad John Patrick isn’t judgmental about those kinds of things. It shows a certain open-mindedness that’s both rare and admirable in people of his generation.

Of course, the big progressive jackpot was invented since John Patrick’s Slots first went into print. So I payed particular attention to his thoughts on a subject so pervasive in today’s slot machine industry.

Actually, John Patrick is against playing to win the progressives. The chances of winning are so low, it is better to focus on grinding out small wins.

If you are on a cold streak, it is better to bet one coin than the maximum, which is usually required to win the progressive jackpot. John Patrick calls that his Up The Steps method, though in his book he had all kinds of other names for it, like The Ladder and The Progression.

So that’s changed, I guess. Patrick says he has as good of a chance of becoming Mr. America as anyone winning a huge jackpot. I have to say; I question that statement.

First of all, is there such a thing as Mr. America? Maybe it’s some body builder thing. If there is a Mr. America, let’s look at the situation. There are somewhere around 150,000,000 men in America, which is probably the minimum requirement to become Mr. America.

The standard odds of becoming Mr. America would probably be around 1 in 150,000,000. Since John Patrick is probably 75 years old, I would say his odds of winning that title are greatly lowered.

Assume we use a conservative estimate, and people who are 70 years and older have only 1/10th the chance of becoming Mr. America. John Patrick’s odds of becoming Mr. America would therefore be somewhere around 1 in 1.5 billion.

Most progressive jackpot odds are 1 in a few million spins. So I would say players do have a better chance of winning a slot machine progressive jackpot than John Patrick has of becoming Mr. America.

A minor point, but one that has to be refuted. I mean, we’re in a mathematical field, so we have to be able to calculate odds. Calculating the odds of becoming Mr. America is how we get an edge in the gambling game.

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